Umm I'm too high to move.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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