I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
