I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
