It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
