He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
