He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
