Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop. http://tfl.nu/0o9n
  Replies (19) Good night (7319) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style http://tfl.nu/rcp4
  Replies (104) Good night (9385) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him. http://tfl.nu/ngz7
  Replies (19) Good night (924) Bad night (4597)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm. http://tfl.nu/xqmo
  Replies (19) Good night (6796) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff
  Replies (8) Good night (714) Bad night (4461)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career http://tfl.nu/ywum
  Replies (5) Good night (2861) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack http://tfl.nu/5yj9
  Replies (4) Good night (1241) Bad night (2323)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall.. http://tfl.nu/5ec3
  Replies (3) Good night (1720) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned. http://tfl.nu/fz01
  Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia. http://tfl.nu/a7rk
  Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground. http://tfl.nu/5mkq
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night. http://tfl.nu/qzgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester. http://tfl.nu/4ngv
  Replies (1) Good night (1212) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture. http://tfl.nu/2m26
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine http://tfl.nu/mjql
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (137)

Randomize