Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
this just has baby written all over it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.