Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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(917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt

Replies (2) Good night (1111) Bad night (601)
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(559): View more from California

kristin has been a bad kristin

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(559): kristin has been a bad kristin http://tfl.nu/ekqq

Replies (15) Good night (2198) Bad night (649)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed

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(601): Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed http://tfl.nu/n1gm

Replies (83) Good night (1153) Bad night (4822)
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(443): View more from Maryland

hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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(443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1

Replies (23) Good night (1382) Bad night (5562)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"

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(413): i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way" http://tfl.nu/86gt

Replies (36) Good night (16450) Bad night (1403)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

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(203): I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it. http://tfl.nu/2i57

Replies (43) Good night (4232) Bad night (4576)
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(765): View more from Indiana

He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family

(812): View more from Indiana

Not even marginally surprised

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(765): He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family (812): Not even marginally surprised http://tfl.nu/oyoq

Replies (8) Good night (3380) Bad night (2058)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is

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(401): If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is http://tfl.nu/twoy

Replies (19) Good night (4556) Bad night (924)
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(954): View more from Florida

Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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(954): Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it. http://tfl.nu/slzd

Replies (19) Good night (1630) Bad night (3972)
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(210): View more from Texas

Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute

(1-210): View more from Texas

Hello cirrhosis

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(210): Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute (1-210): Hello cirrhosis http://tfl.nu/bpcm

Replies (11) Good night (1271) Bad night (1880)
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(480): View more from Arizona

It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.

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(480): It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos. http://tfl.nu/s5gg

Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (2609)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

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(617): The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie. http://tfl.nu/3kb9

Replies (16) Good night (1364) Bad night (568)
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(209): View more from California

... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.

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(209): ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/pw31

Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (603)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..

(1-920): View more from Wisconsin

On the bright side I still got laid

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(920): You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster.. (1-920): On the bright side I still got laid http://tfl.nu/wjnz

Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (358)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.

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(517): Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil. http://tfl.nu/v2cg

Replies (4) Good night (397) Bad night (214)

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