you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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