If that was your dad, he is hot
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
