I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
