Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
