So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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