i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
