please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
