So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
