you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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