the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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