He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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