Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
