No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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