My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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