jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
