im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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