Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
