just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ugly people sure do ruin things
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
