You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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