is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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