Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
