My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
