Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
