yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
