I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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