His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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