I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
