My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
