i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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