And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Every concussion has its silver lining
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
