Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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