i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Every concussion has its silver lining
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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