i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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