So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
