I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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