I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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