Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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