I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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