dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
