Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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