She said her name was "party"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
