there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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