So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
