Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
