you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
