she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize