if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize