apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
