hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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