her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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