i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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