At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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