If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
