He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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