yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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