So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
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