who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
