someone threw a dead crab at me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
either way he was missing a nipple.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
