And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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