i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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